The Big Sleep – or head canon boost to 90


Sometime later after Chromie scared the light out of Ravennah, she ran into a goblin peddling his rocket taxi services in Light Hope Chapel. For reasons that soon will become clear he talked her into a “great deal, the deal of your lifetime, dollface!”.

Yeah, uh, why don’t we let Rave tell it – in her own, charming way.

– – – – –
That [foul eredar word], that dirtbag, that panhandling damned [foul eredar word]! Oooh I should have listened to sis I should, Zavvie that is, she kinda ran into a gobbo in Booty Bay once. Forcefed him with a treasure map too she did. Green little devils, all of ’em. Yeah ok, that’s not fair. Soem of ’em are devils.

The rest is damned mother-[foul eredar word].

There’s no bloody houses in Silithus! Just bugs, and dust, and more bugs, and scorpions, and more dust, and more bugs. Oh, and cultust … cultists. Ran into a few of ’em, they tried telling me the end was night or something … nigh. Yeah, that the word.

So I ended them. Damned loudmouthed [foul eredar word]. Sure learned something now, din’t I? Never trust a gobbo, honey. Once they stopped staring at your ass they’ll sell you the moon. Or parts of it.

The elves were cool though. And the tauren were friendly. Copule’o dwarves too, and some crazy human in a cave was pretty kind to me. So, uh … yeah, ok. Aight, ‘s like this ok:

No fucking (that’s a human word, I think it has wassaword Urk used when he tried deepfried worm meat ah, spice) houses in Silithus. Din’t even know where the bloody place was. Had to ask my way from Gadgetzan and it was like, well, like this kinda:

“I want to go to Silithus.”
“Nah you want, dollfa– aaauwww!”
“Sweet broken valves! You killed him!”
“Shoun’t call me dollface shoun’t he not.”
“Uuuh … ”
“Ok, you just killed him a little bit.”
“Uuh … Who am i?”
“Brixx, Brixx.”

I kinda laughed there and said something like “that [foul eredar word] is punched out!”. That din’t go down well lemme tell ya. So the next day when they let me out of the cell – not sure what their problem is – I asked around again. Everybody was very nice. Go figure. Ah aight, dey not like my sis, y’know. Sis Vassie that is. Something about her running aorund Booty Bay beating up people just so some pirates would like her or something. Insane in the membrane, if you ask me.

So anyway, it kinda went better tho. I got like ten gallons of water n’ then they just pointed west and told me to get the hell out of Gadge. So I did. Funny thing tho, way out west there’s this giant hole in the world! Un’Goro, funny name eh? I tried finding a way down but eventually I had t odo some pretty impressive climbing. Then dodging. A lot of dodging! Oh man! Deres dinos down there! Huge ones! n’ nasty flowers too!

Kinda ran into a worgen n’ a tauren down there. They showed me a … camp. Or village. Marshal something. Got a gnome to guide me to a road up to Silithus. Good thing that crater-hole was full of streams, allthough I did kinda feel funky from drinking it.

But there’s still no damned houses in Silithus! No beach, no restraurant, no nothing! If I ever find that damned gobbo he’s in for a helluva suprise. Anyway, I was kinda broke when I got there so I picked up some cash work. I never knew elves paid good solid silver for human heads, but hey – it’s a big world. Now, I know elves are cool and all but y’kno’, I wonder what the hell they’re doin’ with all those buf saliva glands I grabbed?



Eventually a human kinda grabbed hold of me and told me I should really do my bit “for the Alliance”. So they ported me to Blasted Lands. Aight, I’m no porting person ok? So I kinda ended up sprawled on the floor, puking. Was in no shape to do much y’kno’. So this innkeeper or quartermaster or something helped me up, handed me a drink and …


Last thing I remember before the room stopped spinning was someone sayin’ “sweet crystals, never seen anyone down eight Nethergarde Bitter in less than an hour!”

When I woke up I had this strange feelin’ that I had the experience of a lifetime. Like I was 90*.

– – – – –
*: Ravennah is parked at level 60, she’ll remain there until I have a pre-order, then it’s boost time. While I do enjoy leveling it has become a fair bit tedious lately. Bring on the Iron Horde – a foulmouthed monk is ready to kick some ass.

Oh blasted, I need to snag the “Brawler” title. It would suit her just fine.


3 thoughts on “The Big Sleep – or head canon boost to 90

  1. Laeleiweyn August 24, 2014 / 6:27 pm

    I like this monk. 🙂

    I’m leveling my 6th monk, but I’m also feeling that I need a break from the leveling now. As fun as it is, we all have our limit. Can’t wait to go to Draenor and explore!

    • klokbok August 25, 2014 / 12:27 am

      I like her too (even though she wouldn’t pass a muster in any “pure” draenei RP guild – but I’m not on an RP server anyway so thats a moot point I guess).

      It was actually an experiment at first, after all – I have to get some use for all the TI leather tokens. I did have a monk previously (who turned shaman) and the best way to learn a class, at least for me, is to, well, start from the beginning.

      I wonder if she’ll clean up her act before Draenor though.

      I doubt it 🙂

      • Laeleiweyn August 25, 2014 / 9:24 am

        Same with me, I usually start over if I need to learn a class. Just did it with my paladin actually. Leveled as Ret to 45 or so, and then when I felt I had the hang of it, I went on my 90 and did some Timeless Isle and LFR. It worked just fine. 🙂 I can’t delete characters though… I once deleted a 47 hunter, and I -still- regret it. So they keep piling up. The only ones I can delete are death knights, but only if they’re in the 50’s or 60’s.

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