The Monk That the Light Forgot

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“Ok, there was a bit of misunderstaning at the bank … ” Yeah, it sure was.

A couple of weeks ago I started thinking about monks. Again. After all, if I can get a rogues rotation right a monk shouldn’t be that hard. I’ve done my monking around earlier – on Kittyanna, who since has returned to her shamanistic roots. As it happens quite often I couldn’t think of a good name. So the monk was put on hold. But lo! There was a monk once … and now she’s back.

Meet Ravennah, Exodars worst nightmare, an incorrectible storm of trouble and terrible spelling. It goes something like this … in her own words:

– – – – –

Heeeluuuu!!!

Whooping ay, as a dwarf I shared teh same dishwashing spot with used to say. Or was it ass? Ah aight, ass – whooping ass, ‘s what’t’was. Anyhoe (yeah that was another dwarf) … Ok, so … Lessee … Yeah! Goes like this aight:

I kinda ended up in a bit of trouble. That’s what happens when people let me go free, y’know. Sis’ Shu once said I’m the worst nightmare of our people. I think she was kiddin’ but I’m not sure. So, uh, yeah, I got word of how you could like store stuff in the Stormwind bank aight. So I went there. Though I muss’ave done something wrong ’cause the next thing I know the lady in black is screaming and then there’s a ton of guards. Well, two anyway.

“You’re going to the Stockade you are!” one of’em said. ‘n the other one said “Nah, that’s one of them popular blues, Kip. Sarge’ll ‘ave our asses if we throw her in with the ruffians. Gonna start another riot fo’sure.”

So instead I somehow ended up under guard in a room in the castle. ‘causse no one like knew what to do. But I guess I was lucky or somethin’, ’cause Maraad was around. Funny, huh? He’s kinda always around when someone’s about to grab me ba ma ear and go “You are bad and you should feel bad!”.

So I heard bits n’ pieces of what was said, aight. Goes like this aight:
“She did WHAT!?” said Maraad.
“She tried to rob the bank, Maraad,” a human said. I think it was a king or something.
“Throw her in the Stockade then!” Marry said (he hates it when I call him that, tee-hee!).
“I don’t think that would be wise,” the human said. The nthis young’un human also said:
“Some of our fellwo citizens are … not polite, when seeing a draenei. Perhaps we should give her something else to do?”

So I ended up with “community service”. 8 months of it. Scrubbing floors in the castle. Scurbbing pots n’ pans. Scrubbing blood and pue off the streets on sunday morning. I was the only draenei doing it. People kinda started calling me “pothead”, ’cause whenever someone saw me I usually was head down in a pot, scrubbing the bottom of it. Or something.

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Then one day one of the big dudes, Master Chef of the castle and all, came around and said to me “Grab your gear, you’re off to boot camp, lil’ miss Sunshine”. So I was. Now, it wasn’t a camp made of boots (I thought so and thought it would be a really weird place aight, but it wasn’t ‘caause it was more like a military compound run by a draenei and a human paladin).

They kinda shaped me up, they did. Spent a lot of time standing on a box with my thumb in ma mouth. Yeah, it’s called “disciplinary action”. They used to flog people like me but someone thought it would be a bad idea to flog a sis of one of the war heroes. Thanks a lot, I guess, sis’ Shu.

So Naanae and Lucas Severing ran this camp. Oh my they sure knew how to get the fool out of me! Six months of it; I dare say I got in such damned fine shape people walked into lamp post when I swaggered down the street. I had a hard time remembering all the stuff about the Light and stuff. But I knew how to fight (that’s why I spent so much time on the “shame box”). I fought my way to freedom. Yeah, fucking poetic and all.

Nope, they din’t clean my mouth up. That one’s ne’er gonna be clean, ok? Good!

I’m free! And I have no fucking clue what to do now. Guess I’ll go down to Elwynn and beat teh shit out of a bandit.

I hear the magi… st… ireta … magistrate! I hear he pays good coins for it. This time I also know not to bring unsheathed weapons into the bank ..

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