Geist Alpha

Or:

Farmhand Mmmmmm’s magnificent tale
(Translated by Farmer Zavannah)

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“My new master takes me to new places. We were not allowed inside.”

Mmmmhmmmhmmm (A short prologue)

Mmmm … Mmmhmm, mmm grmmm! Mmmm mmm mmm-mmmm!? Mmmm! Mmmgrrrmmm. Mmmm-ahaaa ha haaaaa! Mmmm! Mmm mmm mmhmm ha haaaaa! Mmmgrmmm! Mmmmmm mmhmmm mhhmmm! Aaah ha haaaaa! Mhhhmmm hmmm mmm? Mmmm! Mmm ..mmm-mmm-aa-mmm-ah! Mmmm!

So, yes … The adventures of Farmhand Mmm. Actually, It’s … my … name is Tim. Or so we claim. It’s short for Timira, a name of unknown origin but most likely the dominant part of muscle memory (I am, and I have found this to be extremely important as of late, also female).

As mosts geists, Tim isn’t a single reanimated former person. Tim also rarely thinks of itself as “I” (allthough a certain individuality has started to emerge over time). Tim consist of many persons. Therefore it often refer to itself as “them”, “we” or simply “legion”. A geist is many. We are many. We – are (a) legion.

(In fact, among ourselves there’s a joke only we – and ghouls – can understand. My spleen is called Nightwind, my liver Garak, my brain is Shia and my fingers were lucky; they’re all from the same family, meet Liza, Mandy, Carl … and so on. What? We can’t joke about it? What are you – Uther (I’m pretty sure I got his thyroid in there somewhere)?)

(Editors note: Geists are in fact pretty funny. But only if you’ve allready been scourged.)

This multividuality, as the technical term is, proved – in early stages of development – to be a problem. Certain dominant bodyparts just wouldn’t cooperate no matter how much dark magic was used. The problem was solved eventually – much thanks to Dr Putricides research into geneological cellular dominant mnemonic bloodline energies. Once that hurdle was crossed, geists could be manufactured en masse.

Still, even though the technology existed for mass-production of geists, the raw materials used were often so expensive – in terms of manpower, that is – that less than 200.000 geist prime in total were ever produced at the Fleshwerks and other facilities. Naxxramas, for instance, produced a measly 165.3 geists over 18 months (and 8 ghouls; and, for some reason, over a 300.000 eyestalks and 1 cat).

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“I’m happy, I’m feelin’ fine, I got sunshine, in my mind … “

(There’s actually a funny story about this if you want to hear it. It is said that Bossman was busy researching how to resurrect cats and therefore didn’t care about geists. The experiments proved succesful in the end but by then it was too late; less than 40 elite specialists took down Naxxramas as it began it’s descent towards Winterguard Keep. The fate of the cat is unknown.)

Indeed, I am special. My former master told me so the first time I opened my only eye. My former master was right, of course. It’s taken me a long time to realize this – but I am special.

I am not we.

I am I.

I… am … Geist Alpha.

(more of Farmhand Mmm’s story will follow. Stay tuned.)

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