Hi guys! Aight, I was like totally blown away aight. Like, someone wanna hear MY story!? Yikes! So, uhm … yeah, anyway. Aight ‘ere it goes:
Hi, I’m Ravennah. My mom is Annaeh (who you won’t find anywhere ’cause she’s not a player like us). Dads, well – he’s off somewhere. Last anyone saw of ‘im ‘e was like, ‘Oooh, me gonna smash demons with Alleria and Turalyon’ – and no one’s seen them in years. Sure, there’s bit of gossip goin’ around the Crystal Palace aight. How Maradaar used his other mace … if you know what I mean eh? On mom. Like, yeah.
We don’t talk about dad much. Us Exodar Sisters.
My eldest sis is Shu, or Shuanna of the Exodar. Yeah, you probably know about her. If you don’t it doesn’t matter. She’s like … idunno. Like every time we meet, yeah, she’s of on some … tirade. On how I should shape up, get better. Like she’s always nagging like “You better grow up fast, Rave, the Legion is closing in”. I’m like – hallluuuu!
Yeah whatever sis. *lol*
So anyway, uhm … Yeah. My second eldest sis is Mehannah, but she’s like far off these days and I haven’t seen her in years. Stuck up [bad eredar word] opened an inn over at Nagrand and got all high and mighty after someone called her ‘loremaster’. Like that’s something to be proud of. Uhm … ok, lessee … Yeah!
Cannie. Oh man, I really like Cahanna, my third eldest. She’s like totally cool, aight. Dunno how to ‘splain it but she’s like just you know like … yeah. That’s cool, sis. You know? So anyway, lemme tell y’all about why I like her. Goes like this, aight:
It was like really really long ago. On a planet far far away – Argus, to be exact. I was jus’ born then aight, jus’ a toddler toddling around with a firm grip of a tiny hand around Cannies tail. Wherever she went, I went. Din’t matter much if it was classes – she was in school, studying arcane or stuff like that. Or, y’know, like out on the town. She din’t mind; havin’ a toddler following you really gets people laughing, aight. ‘specially other draenei gurls. Yeah, Cannies not into boys much. They make do for some R&R but she’s more happy with some … feminine touch. Yeah, uhm …
(Some people in Azeroth don’t like that. Most of ’em live in Goldshire. Like they’re all high and mighty, bunch of mother[foul eredar word].)
So we kinda ended up on Draenor eventually. I was teeny so I din’t understand much. but I grew, fast. Like all draenei. I … as they call it … came of age, just couple of months before the orcs went all bonkers and started …
Ok, y’know what? I’m not gonna talk about that. You wanna know that, ask Vassie. Poor girl. So, uhm – Cannie, anyway. I used to tease her before the fall. I was like really big – on the chubby side when I was young – and I used to grab her tail whenever she was about to sneak out. She used to laugh at it, but sometimes she got angry. but I don’t care, and she don’t either. Fave sis ‘n all.
Just … I never could get ma head wrapped around ‘the teachings’. Arcane this and arcane that. Light this and all. Mom was disappointed of course. Dad – well y’know, we don’t talk ’bout ‘im much. Like, Cannie got more and more busy with the studies aight, so I kinda ended up with Zavannah, she’s my fourth oldest.
I wanted to be just like her. I mean – before she … y’know. Back when she still had a normal body temperature. So there was a lot of yelling and fighting – quarrels, y’know. Mom was … uhm … wassa word … she was Adamant I should become a mage. Or, if all else failed, a priest. Like Vass. But I can bloody hardly read!
I know how to handle a sword. Or a staff. Or a mace. No problem. So Zavvie, she was like my new best friend back then. I was almost admitted to the Vindicators but then all the shit hit the fan and we ened up refugees and no one had time to ask what I wanted to do so I just kinda trailed along and …
Sorry. Din’t mean to start crying.
Uhm … yeah. I was absolutely shattered when Zavvie went off and got herself killed. Then? When she came back? Yeah … things got hard, y’know. Shu was like all holy and all. Cannie just turned around and got herself another bottle of wine. Lots of us – the other siss’es – they like pretended it hadn’t happened.
That’s when I started to … slide. We were like all settled in on Azeroth and all. Cannie was off saving the world, most of ma siss’es was. I was just sliding. I tried real hard to be good, y’know. Study the Light, or magic, or even the elements – like Savenna. but all that stuff means readin’.
I can read, sure. I just get the letters jumbled up. Mom told Velen, and he took his time trying to figure out what … wassaword … what Ailed me. he tried real hard to teach me, but I couldn’t get the write … right …
Yeah, ok, I’m stupid. That’s what most people say. Shu’s like thinkin’ I’m juss lazy – tht’s why she preach to me. Cannie’s too busy to bother. Vass, well. She’s got her nightmares. Thing is, no one really cared what I did. Kitty – damned I love her! – she was real cool and all. She taught me some basic elemental knowledge and all. but nothing seemed to stick in my mind. Then one day she came back. This was all after that [foul eredar word] dragon aspect had gone insane and tried to torch the world. Kitty came back, minus an eye but plus one human “close friend”. Sharenne, that is.
No one talked to me anymore. All busy, busy, busy. I probs spent more time in “the brig” than roaming Azuremyst. I remember a guard saying “There’s always one, and you’re the one. You’ll bring the Legion down on us if you don’t grow up!”. Then he hit me – and I hit back. Hard.
They sent me away. It was the best, I reckon.
Kitty came to see me though. No one else did. I was, uhm … well, I was an “assistant engineer” up by the pod village by then. Meaning – someone has to do the heavy lifting and Stupid Girl was the one to do it. funny though, she had a buddy with her. big fella – rotund, as he liked to describe himself. Not draenei, oh no. not even night elf or human. He was – he said this with some pride, mind y’all – a Pandaren.
“Show me what you got”, he said to me one day. Actually, it was the same day that vindicator Aldar was about to give me a hundred years worth of scolding; I kinda broke an important crystal. Then this ‘Mojo’ just stepped in, haggled a bit like I was a piece of meat and … “Come on, rough me up, horny girl!”
“What?” I clenched my fists. then relaxed. I kinda know that sometimes it hurts a man more if I hit him with my palm. Ask Aldar (he really don’t like me, the [foul eredar word]).
“C’mon, ‘it me!” Mojo said.
“I’ll get in trouble. Again.”
“See these people around you? They told me to sod off.”
“Well, not in as such many words. In fact, they used a lot of fancy words. But I’m a Stormstout. I know when people politely tell me to stick a sha where the five suns never shine.”
“Hit me, girl!”
So I did.
When he came around again he muttered something about “natural tiger palm, that one”. I was sure he’d like call the guards but he jus’ laughed. And Kitty laughed to. Then she said:
I tried. I don’t know what happened. She just poked me in the neck and I couldn’t move. Then I was flat on the back and her fists just kept on pounding … half an inch from my face. That’s how I ended up a “monk”.
Funny. I always thought monks would be like all holy and stuff. They were at Auchindoun, before things turned bad. But Kitty – and that Stormstout fella- were like … whirlwinds. We were going down to the Exodar one late night. bit of a trek, y’know. n’ this horde posse came along. Musth ave landed somewhere, no one saw ’em. And Kitty and Stormy just went to work. Imagine, aight? I as hidin’ behind a tree and these two just take out half a company of smelly orcs (and one blood elf. mother-[doul eredar word]).
“You know, you should really get to Stormwind,” Kitty said later that night.
“That’s human lands!” I said, agast.
“You’ll love it,” she said.
Well – I did.
Ok, there was a bit of misunderstaning at the bank …
but that’s all sorted out. A Death Knight of some renown came swooping in and put things straight. Thanks, Zav.
So here I am. All the worlds open for me. I have no idea what to do. I’ll just keep an eye out for people who need a stupid girl with fists of iron – and Kittys old leather armor, her swords and a few trinkets.
What? What I’m gonna do with my life?
Get rich or die trying.