The Great Vest Quest

“You’re not going out dressed like that!”
“Oh but Siii-iis! Vassa does it!”
“Vassa is crazy, you know that.”
“What about Zavvie then!? She’s li–“
“Do Not Speak Of the Dead One!”

Cahanna listened to Shuanna bickering with the youngling, Zavessa, for quite some time. Eventually she got out her armchair by the fireplace, sauntered out into the hallway and said – in that plain, fact-of-the-matter voice she knew would drive her point home:

“Jade armor, Shu. Now let her get our water.”
“But … ” Shuanna sighed. “Fine then. Ooh we should never have left the Exodar!”
“There’s Nothing wrong with my vest!” Zavessa snorted. “All of the family clothies wear it proudly!”
“It’s … hardly … “

Cahanna chuckled. As she went back into the library she said over her shoulder:
“Jade, Shu. Jade.”

– – – – –

There is an item in the WoW database that eluded me for quite some time. There is a vest that all my clothies – from Cahanna “the evil schoolgirl” mage to Vassannah “the Desperate” priest – wears from time to time. It’s the Buccaneer’s Vest.

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Cahanna, doing what she does best – killing Old Gods with a single shot. Well, five.

The vest has never been that hard to find for me. Whenever I “needed” it on a clothie I just sent Zavannah chilling through the Stockades. Two runs, maybe three, was usually all it took. I was under the impression the vest dropped like snow in Storm Peaks – in abundance.

That was not the case.

With a measly 0.8% drop rate I must have been immensly lucky in my runs through Stormwinds troubled penal system. The RNG finally caught up with me when it was time for Zavessa to become slightly more well dressed than the loom she was wearing.

Her career as an adventurer has gone off with a flying start. Once she understood how to board a ship, she set sail for Stormwind. From there on she worked her way through various “contracts for interested parties”, exploring mines, weeding out kobolds – finding copper. She’s a smart lass, she qwuickly picked up on whatever advice her older sister, Savenna, could give her on Engineering.

“Copper. Can’t go wrong with copper!”

So, a combination of uneventful dungeon runs and mining brought her all the way to Stranglethorn. In Booty Bay, a friendly mage enlisted her in the Argent Crusade. As it happened she was in dire need of iron at the time – so off to Androhal she went. A mining mercenery priest …

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She did have some misgivings about the paradise of undeath, but a few Shadow Word: Pain took care of most oppositon. Eventually she ventured into the dread place. Eastern Plaguelands. by now she was full of bravado.

“I’m invincible! Take this you foul ghul!”
“Ghoul.”
“What?”
“I’m a ghoul. Not a ghul. Dimwit priestess … ”
“Yeah? You know the word! I say Pain – you scr… oh, ouch! Ooouw!”

(It didn’t happen like that.)

There are certain people in the world who really don’t like the Holy Rollers. Even if they wear Black Mageweave. Zavessa – so close to salvation and security, just a few more yards to the ever vigil tower guards of Plaguewood Tower, succumbed. Oh man, she really took a beating. A gargoyle scared her silent. A Plaguehound nibbled at her ankles. A bat frightened her so bad she had to run … into five other bats. And a Dark Cultist. All in all they really did a job on her. They didn’t care about the loot; smashing a priest to pieces was enough fun.

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Zavessa spent the rest of her career as a mercenary crusader chasing down iron and mithril – and doing her duty in places like Dire Maul, Razorfen Kraul and Stratholme. On the road to level 40 she even got a diploma – she’s now a certified Gnomish Engineer!

(Don’t tell Mother; Mother Annaeh still thinks Zavessa is studying! Most of the correspondence go through Vassannah and she makes absolutely sure the ancient draenei matriarch don’t know what the Exodar Sisters are really up to. It’s … a bit Wodehouse, to be honest.)

But the vest eluded her. The vest eluded her sisters as well. 45 runs later through the Stockades over three days on DK’s and shamans and warlocks and the desperate priest Vassie – I was still without a vest.

What the frack!?

Enter a friendly gnome warlock. Who, by sheer luck, just as I emerged from the murky depths of the troubled prison on Savenna the Shaman, put out an ad in Trade Chat, selling the “buccaneer set”. A few shispers and some haggling later I finlly did have the vest. The rest of the pirate costume was a mere bonus. I won’t tell you what I paid for it. Let’s just say it’s … about 4 hours worth of ghost iron mining. It was well worth the gold. Yes, the end of the epic quest wasn’t that interesting. “Västgötaklimax”, as we like to call it here in Sweden. Still, you know: Zavessa need to be properly dressed (properly is relative, ok!).

So! Taking a cue from her older sister Vassannah, sneaking a peek at her even older sister Cahanna, exchanging advice on gloves with her adopted sister Sharenne … and finally getting caught by the Elder, Shuanna, trying to sneak out dressed like a pirate down on her luck – She did get to fetch some water.

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Well, well, well, Zavva …

If you happen across her on EU Saurfang, give a holler. PReferably a nicer one than what the generic leveling monk from Outland did, while I traipsed through Chillwind Camp in Black Mageweave:
“U look liek a hore!”

Outland sucks*.

– – – – –
*: I’m sure there’s tons of great people on EU Outland. I just haven’t met any of them yet. So, sorry y’all!

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