An x-pac we will never see

A few weeks after Mists of Pandaria was released there was some speculation as to what the next expansion pack would be. This proves two things: A) Wow players are never happy, and B) see A). My contribution to this speculative endevour grew into a monster. Well, no reason not to breath life back into it. This post is therefore sort of a “filler”; I need content and as WoW has proved, sometimes reusing old content almost works. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Cataclysm.

We won’t see this, of course. I think. If we do I’ll be absolutely floored. Still, a nice caveat is in place:

If any or all of this post don’t show up in the next expansion, Blizzard screwed up. Why Blizzard? Well – I’m always right. Except when I may be slightly off target. Like the time I adviced a warlock to stack strength (I was new, allright!?).

This is what’s going to happen … or maybe not:

After a foiled attempt of “painting the shores red”, the war between Alliance and Horde in Pandaria is bogged down in a stalemate, a “phony war”, or even a “peacekeeping operation”. Virtually unchanged since the day it began … much like the war bewteen nelfs and Twilights Hammer in Hyjal (there’s dailies?).

Meanwhile, the Earthen Ring has approached the Naaru with a “fantastic plan”! By using the “exomorphic magnetic flux energies” contained in the world pillar, the Earthen Ring has found a way to bring Draenor back from the brink of destruction. The first steps has been taken; massive fel iron rods are holding Outlands floating debris anchored to the main continent, creating bridges to yet unknown, uncharted large pieces of floating land. The mana forges of Netherstorm has been captured and reactivated by the Earthen Ring working through the Scryers (a nifty way of keeping the belfs in Netherstorm). The first experiment with bringing a piece of “lost Draenor” to Outland is a success (there’s dailies!) – however:

The piece drawn close and anchored turns out to be occupied by “ethereal conscripts”. A new faction, [name unknown], supervise the training facilities and keeps a careful neutrality in check once Horde and Alliance emissaries starts showing up, both sides eager to earn the highly advanced ethereals trust. In a series of “proving quests”, Alliance and Horde compete for the favor of trade prince X. They may be up to something … there’s digsites all over the place. Whispers of “the sarcophagus” … (and dailies!)

The BURNING LEGION (tada!) breaks out of their stronghold in Shadowmoon Valley and swarm the “old zones”, bringing even more devastation. Nagrand – a smoldering ruin. Zangarmarsh – smoking mushrooms. Hellfire – fifty shades of red. The Dark Portal is DESTROYED! (thankfully, the Earthen Ring and/or the Consortium manage to set up new portals, accessible from the major cities Stormwind or Ogrimmar). On Azeroths side, Blasted Lands is caught in a “time flux”, allowing would be adventurers to travel to Outland “as it were”. the gnome engineer brothers Timey, Vimey and Wobbly Stuffing leads an expedition into the Twisting Nether, but that’s more like a “whimsical adventure” (with dailies!).

With Vol’Jin as the new warchief and the Zandalari threat once and for all dealt with (or.. is it?), a fragile peace is brokered between Alliance and horde. A new combined task force is sent to Outland and, more importantly, the uncharted remains of “old Draenor”. Sadly, due to some mistakes, hostilities break out and the joint force is split in two – Alliance and Horde. Each with their own stronghold (with dailies!).

The BURNING LEGION (tada!) is hot in pursuit. With the discovery of the Powwa, an “unknown artifact of untold power!”, the BURNING LEGION (tada!) race forth neck to neck with brave heroes of the Old World. The unknown artifact is, of course, the sarcophagus of Sargeras, the Big Bad Wolfs resting place. The Alliance and Horde expeditionary Force must stop Sargeras from being “reborn” before the BURNING LEGION (tada!) breaks him out of his sleep (This only happens once, so no dailies; there’s a “watchmen of the sarcophagus” faction though, and they have a Lot Of Dailies!).

available at level 70; starting area a phased instance of Silvermoon City, open to all applicants regardless race who wants their eyes poked out and replaced with a “magic blindfold”. Gnomes, goblins and pandas not eligible; the first two are too short to kick Sarges balls, the latter would just look silly dual wielding glaives)

The Old Draenor features new races:
Untouched orcs, neutral with both Alliance and Horde (with dailies!)
Ancient draenei, also neutral (with dailies!)
Cursed Eredar, bad news for everyone (they appear in dailies!)
Protogronns, evil twisted mountain giants (they also appear in dailies!)
Aboriginal Ogres, one part neutral/friendly to Alliance and Horde, one part “tainted” and pretty much messed up – all ogres with original voiceacting (because we like the “uuh-huh!” when they swing their mighty mace! Be aware that your history with Nagrand ogres may start you off as hated; no one likes genocide just because you need their beads. you can earn their favor with … dailies!)
Grell orcs, evil
Strange Things Yet unnamed, since they’re unknown they’re probably evil.
Zerglings, vicious vermin that wreaks havoc on unsuspecting ore-, herb- or farm farmers. Beware their ankle bites! (There’s dailies to kill them!)

new things:
New wildlife (the terrible Maneating Mushroom),
new battle pets (tiny ogre; we FINALLY understand what ogre babies look like! Where they come from is still a mystery).
New minerals and herbs.
New and improved farming with new reputation for the draenei/untouched orc farming faction “the Soilent Green”.

This and that:
Proffs raised to 650, level increase to 95. A new way of chosing your allegiance – the Mercenary System; retain your Alliance standing but work for the Horde with a set amount of quests or vice versa, new “mercenary contracts” can be purchased for a new batch of quests. Each mercenary quest awards gold and VP’s plus reputation with appropriate faction (Allies gain Horde rep and vice versa). Powerful Rewards (“mandatory” for end game raiding)!

NEW DAILYS (come on, show us the happy face!)!
New dungeons (among them Wailing Caverns heroic and Blackrock Depths & spire heroic)
New faction reputations, mounts, vanity items and much more! Oh – and do not forget:

No one has seen Turalyon and Alleria for years. That’s what they want you to think …

Oh. I did mention dailies, right?

I’d better mention dailies.


2 thoughts on “An x-pac we will never see

  1. Erinys July 13, 2013 / 9:47 pm

    I can totally see Blizzard stealing this, adding more dailies (if that’s possible) and putting the tiny ogres in the pet store. Although I’d probably pay real money for a tiny ogre especially if it yelled “Stupid puny thing! Me smash!” every time you summoned it.

  2. klokbok July 13, 2013 / 10:07 pm

    I’m okay with them stealing it, just as long as my oldest paladin gets promoted to NPC 🙂

    Ok, a few K gold wouldn’t hurt either. Preferably in the form of paper money.

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