Here I am

I had this crazy idea about a year back. I pondered, while flying from point D to point Z (at the ponder-moment I was an energetic archae… archene… digging for fragments of a raptor), ‘A WoW blog, hmmm …’

And here I am.

What you will find in this blog:

Contemplations of life and strife in Azeroth. Possible screenshots of at least one draenei or human, or nelf, or maybe even a gobl… gnome. Thoughts on feminism and gender issues hidden within Azeroth … etc etc. A smörgåsbord of different ideas.

What you won’t find in this blog:

Dungeon tactics, Raid tactics, Best gear tactics, Class tactics
Talent Spec tactics, Add-on tactics … all in all: If you try to improve your raiding style you won’t find this blog very useful.

I am by no means an end game player. I am, and will always be, an altoholic. I’m not interested in the destination, I’m interested in how to get there. I’m also very much a solo player with a poor stress threshold, wich is why I hardly ever do a dungeon – PuG or guild run. If I can’t solo it, I won’t do it, unless absolutely necessary. None of my chars have any heirlooms. I don’t care about gear tiers. My toons usually start with 6-slot bags and 200 gold from previous high level chars, but that’s it.

I mean … If you can take on Hogger with your bare hands, where’s the challenge? Now if I only could work out a viable tactic for soloing FoS … See. Challenge.

Who am I?
I’m a male, age 44, writer by profession, born and raised in Sweden, living in Stockholm, Sweden, with a fiancée and two cats. English is not my native language, so there’s a few errors here and there. Misplaced words, strange sentences, dubious grammar, the occasional “fuck” or possibly “dash it!” (I’m also infatuated with Stephen Fry). I can however handle critiscism, so please feel free to correct me. In fact, the last person who critized me still hasn’t been found.

(Here’s a funny thing: My written english is very … Dr WHo-ish, in the gestalt (that’s german btw) of David Tennant (dude’s doin a great job, not as good as Tom Baker but … and while I’m on it; No I don’t, sound as an englishman, I think. Possibly Yoda. There’s a lot of pop cultural geek references in this sentence. I realy tried to say something about Kirk and Buffy but couldn’t work it in.).

(My spoken english sometimes sounds as an episode of “the Wire” on a really bad day. Sorry ’bout that.)

(I also like parenthesis… ess. And footnotes. I blame Terry Pratchett.)

(Rants! Stream of consciousness! That’s what you will get! Sometimes. Stat with me, I usually come to some sort of conclusion.)

I started playing World of Warcraft about three years ago. Those things happen after three bottles of wine, you know … especially when the female starts showing off her WoW-skills in an intermission of R&R. At first I wasn’t very fond of the game (I was at the time a casual FPS gamer with a serious the Sims mania and besides – there are certain things in life that’s even more cool than Wow; sex, for instance. Ahem.).

World of Warcraft felt too complicated (sex is easy – no DoTs, I hope …), having to juggle DoTs and cooldowns and classes and trade chat and auctions … but then I learned that Chuck Norris … no, wait.

Ah. I began my career as a WoW:er with the warrior class. Fail. My very first toon, an orc, managed to reach level 5. My second toon, a troll, made it to 44, on foot, before she settled down in Grom’gol (and, most likely, opened an inn; all abandoned characters opens an inn, at least in my imagination). Lesson learned: Wait for patch when they cut mount prices by the kneecaps.

She. You might see a pattern here. MMORPG – Many Men rolePlaying Girls Online. The female WoW-model is … superior. Prettier. Yes, this IS objectifying. I AM a feminist, not a very good one, but still. But if I’m going to look at an ass for five years it better be a good one. Male models tragically lack that certain You Know What. Mind you, I like male ass. Just not i WoW.

My third toon … and you might suspect where this is going … actually reached level 71. She even managed to mount up. She’s still around, though I haven’t checked in on her for over a year or two. Last I remember her bank was full of lockboxes. This was before I knew rogues actually was useful for something else than dying horribly.

All of these toons were Horde and pre-Lich King.

Then my subscription ran out. So i fooled around with serial killers in the Sims 2 for about six months or so and eventually, as it’s said … On a dark and stormy night I returned to Azeroth. Actually, it was more of a spring evening.

I got a new subscription (we’re still pre WotLK here, just so you know). Once I had it up and running again, some time had gone by. Horde wasn’t appealing anymore. I wanted something new and turned my gaze towards Alliance. Also, I switched servers. It was a change based on server population and coolness. Saurfang sounds pretty cool, so …

(Later I learned who Saurfang was. Still cool though.)

After fooling around with a human and a night elf for some time (both made it to level 70’ish) I somehow found myself in the Exodar. It took about two levels with a draenei to feel … Home.

Here I am, as Zevran says (in a completely different game). Half a dozen toons later, with a bunch of 90’s and an asssortment of 40-87 characters.

Woot, only a bunch of 90’s? Pliiiz tell uz you got t15 gear!

I don’t.

The main reason: I don’t raid unless absolutely necessary. The few items I’ve collected was hard earned. They took a lot of nicotine and beer, let me tell you.

I have a stress problem. It’s the remnants of a long, long period of depression. Recent years have been better, but I function a lot better on my own or in an enviroment that I trust, than in the anonymous LFR PuG. Combine this with the dread Information overload syndrome (also a side effect of long term depression), a slight onset of misanthropy and an acute problem with self proclaimed übers (you know them, they’re the jocks of WoW. You might even be one of them) – well! It is not uncommon that my pulse reach 180 while in LFR. Wich is, in the long term, not good. Not good at all.

I’m pretty much a solo player. I keeps my pulse down. I’m on my own schedule. I won’t get “advice” (like “Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!”) and I enjoy the game more.

Playe the game. Don’t let the game play you.

I’d rather sit a raid out than team up with people I don’t know (and most likely don’t like). Every time I must PuG an LFR, I dread the hour.

PuG:s is like going to the dentist.

(To be fair though. Once in a while I actually find a good PuG, it can happen you know. A tank once gave me really good advice on how to play a mage. I was a warlock at the time, but what the hell.)

PuGs in general tend to be a disapointment. In a game where the majority of players are aged 25-40, I find it curious I always end up with the homophobic ten year old who have to quit after pulling the end boss as mother calls.

Hey, parents! Leave them kids alone!

(You mess up my game.)

It’s happened more than once. Especially with that pesky bug in Azjol-Nerub. Quite possibly, it’s because the middle-aged tank also find that pesky bug a pesky bug and needs a “gentlemans way out”, but I dunno …

All in all: I don’t like PuGs**. I also don’t like broccoli.

So there you have it. Should you feel inclined to enjoy this blog, I’m a happy camper. If you leave after ten seconds muttering “he didn’t mention Elitist Jerk” I, uhm … well I did just mention it, didn’t I?

– – – – –
*: I had no idea archaeology involved that much travel! Harrison Jones never told us about that!)

**: I have worked up a certain patience with Dungeon Finder. I usually level almost esxclusively through dungeons unless I find a particularly endearing character. So I’m not a total hopeless case. Only human, as I think they say in the Matrix.

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